The Man The Universe Hated

The Man The Univere Hated
By Carnotaur

I am a man. I am like you, I am like the other human around you, whether close or far. I am fully homo Sapiens, suffer from nothing. No disease, no allergies to be a pestilence. I can see well, and hear more than enough. My diet is average, the air I breathe commonly clean. However, I am not like you. And I am like no other. There is not one man on this planet, this forsaken rock, that is like me. For you see, I am the only man alive who the universe despises.

The concepts of Karma, payback, God and accidental occurrences have no place in this discussion. Whether or not I believe in a higher form makes no difference. If I did an evil deed and Karma was to give to me my just rewards, it would not be of the present dilemma. Do I seem as though I babble? I do, but there is truth, so simply listen. Have you ever been afflicted by some occurrence? Not by human hand, specifically. Most of us have given the evil eye by some idiot passing, and have quarreled with fellow man. It is the curse of this place. Do not mind my pessimistic outlook. What I am about to tell you is why I am the way I am. Besides, negativity is a thread in this frayed and tattered simulation, so to be in flow with both positivity and the former is a pinch of wisdom. The depressed sadist will suffer, and the optimistic jubilant will be hit by cold reality. Enough of my philosophy, I digress. Now, let us return. As said, we all dabble in conflict, but what of “accidents?” Do you stub your toe? Did you drop the glass dish and have it turn the ground into a hazard? Have you once been tripped on a crack? The same, it happens to all. But also of nature: have you been stung by a wasp? Did you ever have something blown over by wind? Has your home been flooded with intruding water? Out of all of these, some are rare some are common. But what if I told you that I have experienced almost all of them, and still do, not just a few times, but over and over again? I would be called by the average one an unlucky person. I would have said so myself, but not so anymore. I am a victim, and a victim of a crime made by the hand of the universe. Every day, I am subject to constant tragedy, most not making any bit of since, complete defying the laws of physics. But why not? Can the cosmos not play with the settings?

It all started many years ago, and I remember it as so, without too much detail of the surroundings. Space shall be made for the events:

I awoke that day, in my recently bought house. Out of the way, on some country road. I got up, a Saturday morning, and acquired my coffee. I had done this every day for two months, and never had calamity befallen me. Yet, I did the usual, pour the coffee into the filter, and pour in the water. Nothing strange to speak of. But not so. You see, what I hadn’t seen was the puddle of water that had materialized behind me. It must have come from the water that I had poured to make my brew. However, the puddle was as if I had just poured a bucket on the floor. And when I say materialized, I mean it just became. I did spill some water, but in no way this much. I turned, and slipped, smashing my head on the counter. It slammed ferociously, but I did not black out. I managed to sustain my reality, and lay there, in the water. This began my battle...

After all disaster had occurred, I was paranoid. I had just witnessed an occur that should not be, and yet was. My immediate action was to tend to my lumped head. I did, and went to the couch, it’s leather welcoming my startled frame. Upon sitting, I looked down at an ice pack in my hand. The coldness was... unnatural. Only minutes before, I had pulled said ice pack from the freezer, and it was not unbearable. But now it was turning my fingers to pain. With the cold sensation of fire that one gets in -10 degrees weather, I dropped it, my fingers in misery. As with the puddle, something so normal had become a threat. The puddle grew bigger without water, and the ice pack grew colder in warmer temperature. Now I was no longer paranoid, I was in fear. I know wondered what I was to do know. Weirdness, queerness, bizarreness was in my presence, and I was afraid to take any action. I might sit up and bump the table, only to have it break my leg upon touching. I felt no presence, and I sensed no threat; nonetheless, I felt insecure. I knew a threat was there, but was impossible to understand it. So, with my mind in a wonderful tizzy, I considered my actions. I decided upon trying to get to my room, and upon my bed. There, I could avoid anything from happening. But along the way to the bedroom, I suspected more dark comedy. I sat up, and avoided the coffee table, as to not let even my clothes brush. I made it out unscathed. I know stood in the living room, looking around for anything that could be exaggerated to cause me affliction. I saw nothing. To the hall it was. I walked to the hall, and made my way to the stair case in the middle of the length. Know I knew that the stairs creaked, which meant the obvious. With care, I took a step on the wooden step. Silence. Then another. Silence. Now, it must be the fourth step that creaked, but I guessed wrong. The step split in half, and I stumbled forward, my face hitting wood. It hurt, but I had to hurry. Getting back up and making the ascent once more, I avoided the other step that I knew would attempt an assassin’s action, and made it to the second story. With swiftness I went to my bed, and got on top of it, getting on the floor, and sway from anything deadly. At least that’s what I supposed. As I sat down, I remembered the failing leg of the frame. The corner gave out, and I fell to the wooden floor. This was getting ridiculous. I was only bruised, but not very badly. Such I was, laying there in a state of indecision. Should I call someone? Or would I lead them into my house of traps? Was it just for me, or was this place jinxed? These were my thoughts, as I lay baffled. I stood, and gathered myself. I was unsure of action...

That moment has repeated over and over again, still to this day. I must spare you the multiple examples. All sorts of accidents, from near car crashes to getting locked in a bathroom. But, what made me the most disturbed was the fact that nothing killed me. No attempt was made on my life. I have lived for years now being toyed with, most certainly by a force with disposition. But whatever it may be does not wish me dead, or cannot kill me. It is an ambiguous nothing that is, which pains me. It would seem, that the cosmos are the cause. As if the universe itself was conscious, and selected me. I have done no wrong, but am being punished by a force which cannot show itself. Maybe that would be the answer. Perhaps I am the man the universe hated...